When I found out I was expecting my second child, I was overjoyed. But beneath the excitement, there was also a lingering worry—how would my toddler handle it? The age gap between my daughters is 2.5 years, and while my older one was still very much my baby, she was about to take on the role of an older sibling.

The hospital stay was my first real challenge. I missed my toddler terribly and felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. But my husband stepped in, taking her to the park and keeping her engaged. Still, once we were back home, the reality of having a newborn hit hard. My toddler wanted all my attention, and when she didn’t get it, she acted out—crying, hitting, biting, and throwing tantrums, especially when I was with the baby.

I knew she wasn’t trying to be difficult; she was just struggling to adjust. So, I made a conscious effort to help her ease into this big transition. Here’s what worked for us:

1. Prioritizing My Toddler Over the Baby

Apart from feeding and cleaning my newborn, I didn’t spend much extra time with her. Fortunately, my mother was there to soothe the baby, so I could focus on my toddler. I played with her, fed her meals, and made sure she still felt like my priority.

2. Keeping My Toddler Involved During Feeds

Instead of closing the door and feeding in isolation, I invited my toddler to stay with me. I’d ask her to talk to me, tell her stories, or simply engage her in conversation. This helped her feel included rather than excluded.

3. Reassuring Her Constantly

I made sure to remind her—again and again—how much I loved her. Simple words like “You are my first baby, and I love you so much” made a difference.

4. Giving Her a Role in Baby Care

I asked her to help with small tasks, like bringing diapers or picking out the baby’s clothes. It gave her a sense of ownership and importance in this new dynamic.

5. Keeping Baby Talk to a Minimum

My husband and I made a conscious effort not to talk excessively about the baby in front of our toddler. We wanted her to feel that she was still the center of our world, not overshadowed by her younger sibling.

The Shift: Growing into Her Role as a Big Sister

It took time—about two months—but my toddler gradually adjusted. Now, my baby is five months old, and while my toddler still firmly states that she won’t share her toys with her little sister, I see a deeper sense of belonging. She may not always express it, but she knows her sister is hers—and that’s enough for now.

For any parent struggling with the transition of bringing a newborn home, know that it gets better. With time, patience, and lots of reassurance, the sibling bond slowly takes shape.