This might be an unpopular opinion, but motherhood is tiring. There are days when I question myself—why did I have children? Why did I choose a life where my time, body, and emotions are no longer just mine? Some days, the exhaustion feels endless.

But what has helped me through it all is the constant reminder that this journey is a Tapas—a practice of discipline, endurance, and devotion. Motherhood, in many ways, is like a penance. You do it not for rewards, not for validation, but because it is a path you’ve chosen, one that reshapes you in ways you never imagined.

The Weight of the Everyday

Motherhood isn’t about grand moments; it’s about the relentless rhythm of daily life. The early mornings, the meals prepared and rejected, the bedtime struggles, and the tiny, repeated tasks that seem to erase any sense of personal achievement. There’s no gold medal at the end of the day. No one claps for you when you finally get your toddler to eat a vegetable or when you manage to soothe your baby back to sleep at 3 AM.

And yet, this consistency—the act of showing up, day after day, no matter how drained you feel—is where peace is found.

The Liberation of Letting Go

When I stopped expecting motherhood to be a joyful, fulfilling experience every single day, I found a strange kind of freedom. The frustration eased when I let go of the need for constant appreciation. The exhaustion felt lighter when I stopped fighting it.

Motherhood isn’t about waiting for good days. It’s about embracing every day—the messy, the monotonous, the magical. It’s about understanding that this Tapas isn’t a burden, but a transformation. A slow, unseen, yet deeply profound shift in who you are.

A Different Kind of Reward

So, no, there may not be a tangible reward at the end of the day. But every time I see my child smile, learn, grow—even in the smallest of ways—I remind myself that consistency is its own kind of peace. It’s the quiet strength of knowing that I am showing up, even when it’s hard. That, in itself, is enough.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s the real reward after all.